As new parents…well as parent’s period, you think about the
simplest concepts ad nauseam! At least I do! I already knew how to crawl, walk,
talk and go to the potty. That all happened and childhood amnesia kicked in
making me forget most or all of that process. I have one faint memory of trying
to reach the freezer for a Hershey kiss because I had just gone potty by
myself. I vaguely remember waking my dad in the middle of the night because I
needed to go to the potty and did not want to go by myself. That’s it! Ok, so
from that I can glean incentive was used to train me and I was old enough to
remember the back end of potty training, so I was probably 2 ½ or 3 years old.
I think that is when researchers have determined the average age is for early
child hood memories. Without a definitive life experience and without the experience
of raising any siblings (my brother and I are less than two years apart in
age), teaching my son to use a toilet is a matter of teaching myself what it
means to not know HOW to use one in the first place.
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| No diaper at all works too |
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| A part of EC is avoiding becoming comfortable with a wet diaper |
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| Silas and Dallis on the pot! |
I started tackling this problem at a very early age with
Silas compared to most. I learned about elimination communication (EC) for
infants and bought a little potty for him around 7 or 8 months old. EC is used
around the world. It’s a churched up label for letting your infant and very
young toddler go potty anywhere other than their diaper (preferably their
little potty). The function of such early potty usage is two fold. For
countries where there are limited resources, diapers are a pain in the butt,
literally. So “no diapers” saves resources that aren’t there in the first place
including money, water, and clean places to dispose of said diapers. Second,
and this applies to us, it allows the child to realize that going potty is not
a mystery. It comes from your body, it feels a particular way and you can
direct where it goes. Diapers are no longer a security blanket or a given with
EC. EC starts out as predominantly timing with some cues. We only did it part
time. Meaning, we got him on the potty or outside when we could, but had a
diaper on otherwise. We used cloth diapers for a whole gamut of reasons, one of
which, they can feel when they are wet and know this is an uncomfortable sensation.
For the most part, EC has been great for us. It has meant less diapers, more self-awareness
for Silas, better communication and understanding of signals between Silas and
us about going potty. Which lets face it, a good part of having a young one is
all about going potty! Up until now…
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| quick access to diapers means quick changes |
Since about 14 months EC has become more and more useless
for us. As Silas has become better at exerting his own will, desires and
actions, suggesting sitting on a potty and doing a particular action on command
is almost comical. Some people argue this communication we have had thus far
was all luck and timing. I strongly disagree. I have actually watched Silas try
to pee when I ask him to MANY times and often he can go on command. Not only
that, but he often runs to be held by me right as he is peeing or immediately
afterwards. I think the two most positive concepts we gained from this practice
were Silas’s awareness and thus control over his own bodily functions and our
awareness of our child’s non-verbal cues.
But I think this part of our lives is about over.
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| I came back from a walk on a no diaper trial day and saw that THIS had happened!!! |
The Signs:
1.
Going in the potty is only happening if its fun
now. (in the big potty at a gas station, in the water off a boat, in the yard
etc.)
2.
He has pretty consistent places he goes to hide when he
poops or pees in our living room.
3.
He can go for hours without going potty,
including naps.
4.
Just in the last week of his 16th
month he has been holding it ALL night and pees in the potty in the morning!!
Go Si! This is with nursing through out the night.
5.
He can voice his need for something to drink,
eat or just desire in general.
So you ask, what might we be
missing?
Not much actually. His interest in
the potty is low. Otherwise, one could argue Si is ready to transition into
potty training.
I tried a day or two of no diapers.
It was a messy experience that still required my constant attention. We
concluded after our 24 hour evaluations of Si on these no diaper days that he
clearly has a lot of other developmental milestones in the works that are
putting a hamper on potty training. Teeth are coming in left and right and
verbal skills are on the verge of exploding. So as tempted as I am to kick the
diapers to the curb, 18 months might be a more realistic time to tackle this
with our little man.
You might ask, “ Why are you thinking
about this so much? Just wait until he is older.”
The less time in diapers the
better!!!!!! Save the environment, save children from sitting in their own
excrement, save us from cleaning all of that business and above ALL else avoid
the battle of wills between toddler and parent whenever possible. Because with a
toddler’s lack of emotional vocabulary and sense of time, I’m pretty sure we
will be on the losing end for some time.
So we want the age with the
highest mental awareness, lowest manipulative powers and a desire to please. Psychological
studies have found prime time for these cognitive traits is somewhere between
20-30 months on average. I don’t plan on missing that window of opportunity!
I do believe EC has sped up the
time frame for training Silas since he has been made aware of his body and
going potty for some time. A nice perk from all of that early attention to
something many parents wait until later to deal with.
Wish us luck on becoming a diaper
free household sooner than later! Until next time…
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