Isaac came into this world weighing 6lb 8oz measuring 18.5in long and just as beautiful as baby boys come. Despite his arrival at 39 weeks, he was in every way a full term baby. I kind of figured he was done "cooking" when my weight had stagnated for two weeks as had his measurements in utero.
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| The day before I birthed Isaac |
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| Four days after Isaac was born |
Isaac's Birth Story:
FORWARNING- this is a very honest account of birth. If you do not want all of that detail, please bypass this part. This blog is our family journal as much as it is for all of our loved ones that live near and far.
9:00am
Birth is gross, beautiful, but gross and it involves a lot
of body parts and fluids no one, particularly in America, wants to talk about.
This is a wide open forewarning that I am writing Isaac’s birth story with all
of those parts, fluids and nuances involved. I had been feeling menstrual type
cramps all morning, but thought nothing of it. This was my second baby and I
had been intensely more sensitive to pelvic changes and the like through out
the pregnancy. I made the
assumption he was really starting to engage before labor would start. Per the
calendar laid out by my midwife, I was exactly 39 weeks to the day. My
perception on those cramps changed a little when I went to the bathroom and
found a light pink smear on cloth I used to wipe myself with. A flutter of
excitement hit me. This could mean something would be starting sooner than
later. Again, I assumed days…not THIS day. So I texted my midwife and she
immediately said she was preparing her equipment and letting the other girls on
her team know. I was surprised! I thought surely this meant in the next few
days not the next 24 hours. She said, menstrual cramps alone…yes, bloody show
too…no. I texted Andrew and let him know this show might be rolling a lot
sooner than we thought and that I had a bloody show and cramping.
I quickly began running around trying to rally together the
last of the items on the homebirth list we were supposed to prepare. I had
begun to feel a little “foggy” as I did this, but coughed it up to the
excitement I was feeling, all the while telling myself nothing may really
happen until tonight but it was best if I went ahead and took care of getting
clean sheets, towels etc in the closet for when our midwife arrived. Luckily
the birth kit was already in the closet containing gloves, pads, clamps etc. I
also decided to make a run to the grocery store so we would have food and
snacks for myself and the extra people as I labored. Extreme moment of nesting?
Maybe. The fog was really beginning to set in as I loaded Silas into the car. I
decided it might be wise of me to time my “cramps” driving to and from
Lewisburg. To my surprise they were regularly arriving every five minutes and
were definitely more intense as I was pinned in the car. As I reached the
grocery store I felt the increasing need to repeat to Silas this was going to
be a fast trip and had a feeling that I really should be at home. Better yet, I thought my water very
well could break in the store.
12:00pm
As we navigated through the store I had this feeling of
disassociation from my surroundings, almost as if drug induced. The cramps were
totally manageable walking around. In the process Silas randomly picked out
chocolate milk and mac and cheese. I didn’t care. I had to get home.
As we drove home the cramps were coming probably more like
every 4 minutes and maybe some were appearing around two minutes at random?
That was a confusing pattern. I just needed to get my kid and myself home
safely. By the time I got home I had to stop for what I will now dub
contractions while putting things away. I was beginning to zone out and having
a hard time focusing on my task at hand. Silas was watching Curious George on
my laptop on our couch in the living room periodically acknowledging that I
would sometimes use the big red yoga ball to lean on because that thing was
fun!
12:50pm
I had texted my midwife and had not heard from her so I
called to let her know the pattern of contractions I was experiencing. She said
she would pick up a few things she needed for the birth pool and touch base
with me to see where I was shortly. Sounded good to me. My labor with Silas had
been 21 hours total (although likely extended artificially due to hospitals and
drugs). I was feeling a little
breathless at this point and quiet as I went through each wave of contractions,
2 min, 4 min. They felt like my pelvic girdle was being pressed in such a way
the bones themselves were transforming. That sounds pretty intense, but
honestly totally manageable at this point. I also called Andrew and let him
know he may need to leave work early today and that things were moving along.
He asked if he should finish his class and I said yes.
The brilliant woman I am, knowing breastfeeding amplified
the oxytocin response, decided to try and nurse Silas down for his usual nap as
I read to him. Other women had nursed through labor, why not me? Oxytocin, by
the way, is the hormone controlling a good part of the contractions in labor.
As I lay there reading Trick or Treat with the Berenstain Bears for the ten
bazillionth time and Silas began relaxing and nursing here came an absolutely
HORRENDOUS contraction! I immediately stopped nursing Si, to his very unhappy
dismay, and said “ nope, nope, not doing that, how about some more Curious George
baby?!” Silas replied “ Ok!!” and excitedly jumped out of bed and ran to the
couch.
Here onsets the extremely foggy part in which I make one
last gasp to find comfort before realizing this was all happening WAY faster
than expected. I texted my midwife stating “ OK, definitely not nursing Silas
to sleep for his nap. Holy hell.” “can I get into a bath tub?” Of course I
could get into a bathtub. Clearly my judgment was waning at this point. She
said “yes”. I told Si I was going to get into the tub and attempted to submerge
my stomach by lying sideways in the water after it filled up. Complete fail! I had the same
experience with Silas’s labor. I still dream of a water submersion that
alleviates my contractions like a magical wand.
1:30pm?
I take my big red ball into the bedroom because I am being
quite vocal through each contraction at this point and they are coming on VERY
fast, like every minute I’m guessing. With my left cheek laid across the ball,
arms hanging over my head and knees on the ground I moaned loudly through each
contraction and whimpered in between. It hurt. I suspect the baby had rolled posterior and that is why my actual labor was so tough. I think I had intense back labor. Silas would sometimes come in
and check on me. Once or twice initially he tried to hold on to me and I pushed him away.
He cried and got upset and once I was through the contraction I would apologize
and hold him for a second emphatically telling him “ I’m in labor and it just
hurts baby, it just hurts.” Once I moved to continually laying on the red ball it was as if he recognized the intensity of the situation. He came
in a couple of times and grabbed my head, turned it towards him, made eye
contact with me and while stroking my head said “ you’re ok, it will be ok, you
are going to be ok” over and over.
I swear time slowed as he did this and as the contraction waned and I
stared into those blue, loving eyes, I said back to him “ I’m ok, I’m going to
be ok, its ok”. I thought at the time I was saying it for him but I was
definitely also saying it for myself. The connection I have with my eldest son
has now forever changed. He was all I had through my actual labor before
pushing and he loved me.
1:50pm?
At some point during all of this Andrew texted “hey” and I called
and said “I need you to come home now.” With out hesitation he said “ be there
in twenty minutes.” Work is thirty minutes away.
2:00pm?
I instinctually moved myself into the bathroom and sat on
the toilet. I did not see Silas again until after Isaac was born. I was
screaming at this point, gripping the toilet paper holder in my right hand and
bracing myself with my left hand against the wall in front of me. Again, I'm pretty sure my baby was sunny side up, making the back labor excruciating. These were
earth-shattering contractions, almost never ending. I felt my entire pelvic
bone structure was moving like one of those transformers changing into
who-knows-what every time a contraction hit. It was rough and all I
could do was scream and sometimes pant through it.
2:05pm?
Andrew arrived during this and called our neighbor to play
with Silas for a bit. I know he checked in on me and offered support, I know my
midwife was calling because I heard the phone vibrating, but I was actually
pushing a baby out at this point so there was no way I was responding to
either. I knew I was pushing a baby out because I , again instinctually, reached
down and felt inside to find the top of a baby’s head. Well it was probably the
sac with water around his head, but it was definitely his head! Amidst all of
that intense, sweaty work I felt pangs of excitement that I, myself could feel
my child’s head before it was born. That I was doing this!!
2:15-3:15pm?
I periodically checked for where the baby’s head was and
told Andrew the baby was coming. I think he put on a headlamp, trying to look.
Yes, I was still on the toilet. As the baby began to crown ( I promise my hand
was down over the head and I was preparing to stand up to catch him), Andrew
some how convinced me to move from the toilet to a set of towels he had placed
on the bathroom floor right beside the toilet. Once on all fours I began trying to move the skin around the
baby’s head while bracing two spots that were particularly burning at the front
and back. Screaming and panting still. Pushing felt more like I was choosing to
try and contract around all of this pain as if synching a leather belt around
the bones, desperately hoping to hold them together just slightly through the
chaotic dismantling allowing this baby out of my body. The thought to push
seemed ancillary and therefore as if something I came to as a last resort.
Andrew behind me at this point telling me very excited that our baby was
coming!!! He could see him., here he came, his head is out!! Isaac's cord was looped once around his neck so loosely Andrew used a finger to move it over his head. One more push Ada.
Here come his shoulders (left first, then right as it rotated his face towards
the floor)!!! He was out! Oh thank god, the slight relief. I found a way
to maneuver around his cord to sit and hold him.
3:15?
Isaac is born!!! ( 6 hours total from beginning to end with less than 3 hours of actual labor)
Andrew quickly wraped him in a towel on me and we both are
talking to him, rubbing him and trying to get his attention. He was blue and gurgling, trying to
respond but struggling. I wasn't remotely concerned about him but Andrew was scared and gave him a couple rescue breaths. We sat there for maybe five minutes trying this before
I tried to move him to Andrew's chest in hopes of achieving a more comfortable
position. That did the trick! The cord was too short anyway, but moving that
baby off of mama elicited the scream we had both been looking for! There was
our beautiful boy.
I asked Andrew to call our midwife. I was still laboring and
uncomfortable and while Andrew was on the phone, I gave one more good push and
out came the placenta. Oh the relief!! I may have felt like a bulldozer had run
me over, but oh sweet relief.
Andrew came back into the bathroom after telling our midwife
the baby had arrived and we looked at the umbilical cord. I had delivered the
afterbirth within ten minutes of birthing Isaac so there had been plenty of
time for the cord to finish pulsing. Andrew cut the cord with our blue pair of
kitchen scissors and then clamped it with a rubber clamp from our birth kit.
Andrew put a Depends on me (I’ve never appreciated adult diapers so much!) and then
helped me move to the bed to finally relax completely and embrace my newborn.
Our midwife arrived an hour and a half later.
This was the most empowering event in my life.
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maybe five minutes after cutting his cord |
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| skin to skin with daddy |
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| midwife-in-training examining Isaac |
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pluto never left our side |
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| weighing baby |
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| first time nursing nestled in my old maternity shirt |
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| happy daddy |
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| tandem nursing for the first time that night |
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| first nap together |
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| morning after cuddles with daddy |
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| because everyone should know what a post partum body really looks like |
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| 33 months and 2 days old |
Isaac is as calm and fluid as he was in utero. A polar opposite of his fiery brother. They will be a perfect pair. Our hearts are exploding with love and awe.
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| how he must have been tucked in my body |
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| five days old |
Towards the end of our week or so together we have taken advantage of the river in our back yard and the kayaks we recently invested in. Again, what an amazing and cathartic way to wrap up our time welcoming Isaac to our family!
