A gremlin ate my baby! (23 months and counting)

            I start to get a little anxious as I watch Silas's eyes fall upon the ball another little boy has whipped out over by the slides at the park. We have been swinging and babbling to each other. He has been carefully watching each parent and child interaction, pointing out to me details he has words for like "baby" or "football" or "weeeeee"..wait thats what he says when he is swinging. Anyway, my sweet little baby boy has discovered that possession is possible in all things. I've used that to my benefit. If he can "own" something, so can other people. So I calmly repeat over and over, as I see him cut over to the kid with the ball, " no no Si, that is HIS ball, not yours. He gets to play with that ball." I would say 70% of the time, this tact works great. He gets it and leaves it alone after giving the ball a longing look and drags himself away. That slight anxious feeling I get, well, when that 30% hits and he might be overly tired, or his little brain is too busy working on other things to fathom "understanding", thats when a melt down threatens. The crying begins and as I cary my limp, and I mean completely limp, noodle of a child over to another part of the park to try and distract him, I look at that sad, ridiculously dramatic little face and wonder WHEN the gremlin ate my baby!!!!!

     

      He is a full blown toddler. Don't get me wrong, we love this age. But it is most definitely a bi-polar stage in development. I struggle with the concept of ownership and a strong part of me doesn't want him to cling to that idea at all. It's all of the Marx and Engels I read as a teenager. But I learned pretty quickly that socialism in the animal kingdom can be bad news bears when it comes to basic animal behavior. I tried to be friends with my first dog and treat her a social equal….that was a big mistake!! Toddlers are on the same mental level and another part of me is acutely aware that this idea of possession helps him delineate between objects and allows him to more deeply understand the concept of sharing. Please don't misunderstand my previous comment about socialism, by the way. I'm still a flaming social democratic liberal. I just know when it comes to animal basics, and we are animals, common ownership for the greater good bypasses hierarchy; an all too cerebral concept for my almost two year old.

That's right, I said it, almost 2!! And it is awesome!! Andrew and I LOVE this age. We love every age, so let me elaborate why this one is so freakin' cool. He is TALKING!! We can finally communicate as human beings have evolved to do. He tries new words every day and he is forming 3 and 4 word sentences now. His version of english is still absolutely precious and a far cry from clear diction. It is the strangest thing though. When he does ask for something or tells you something, often times if you don't over think it or even try to hear him entirely, you know exactly what he just said by the inflection in his voice. If you over think it, you get confused. Its a little bit like listening to a drunk person. You know what they are getting at.

playing disc golf with daddy 

Of course all of these new language skills means he gets extra clingy from time to time and being sleepless happens at least once a week. All totally worth the progress this little man is making. Beyond speaking, Si is on his way to that baby yoga stage. Where the toddler can and does assume every yoga position while in the throws of playing. They appear more coordinated than most adults.

I think getting into these boots counts as athletic.

downward dog?

Ok, I don't have any awesome pictures of Si wielding his body like a pro. But I promise he can and does. His newest dance move is jumping. Thats it, jumping. So the trampoline about to be erected in our backyard should really facilitate all of his new sweet moves.

We visited some family and Si got to hang out with a sweet little thing named Layla and my girlfriend's wily 4 year old, Hayden. He loved it once he got over all of the new people. A little apprehension crops up in this other wise typically brazen boy around new people from time to time. Once he warms up though, he is on the move.

adorable!!

A few holidays have come and gone (Halloween, Veterans Day and Thanksgiving in case you weren't sure). As you saw from the above photo's, Si was a fluffy puppy dog. I'm sure it is the one and only time he will be something cute and fluffy. He will likely be a ninja next time or a soldier or something real and slightly violent. Again, a gremlin ate my baby.

He hit up discovery place for the first time on this weekend and really enjoyed it until he got SOOO tired and just had to go to sleep.

Veterans day is for my main squeeze. I found some old pictures of him that are fantastic! Thanks for the service sweets!

Last but not least, we hit turkey day. We visited family in southwest virginia for this one and had a great time. mmmmmm foooooddddd. I apologize for only having pictures from one half of our family visited. I tend to forget about my phone when I come to see family like this. So all of these pictures were taken at one time when ,for a second, I remembered I might want some memory of this later on.

Its been a good month or so and I can soundly say for Andrew and I that we are grateful the semester is drawing to a close. A break is definitely needed. We are already listening to Christmas music! Si doesn't know this but the entire month before he was born, all we listened to was Christmas music. So now, every time I start listening to Christmas music absurdly early, I think of my life in anticipation of him. We love you little boy.  

Until next time!

Flash back!

Breastfeeding a Toddler

   I remember the first time a friend of mine told me she was still breastfeeding her son (15 months at the time). In my head I was shocked, but outwardly I supported her. She could still sense the surprise in my voice, I'm sure. I talked to Andrew about it later that night and how crazy it was to be nursing a child that was so much older. I certainly would only nurse my babies until they were a year. That seemed reasonable…right? I literally laugh every time I think about this conversation now and I also feel like it was an alien person that had those thoughts.

too much boob?

Those thoughts came from a woman who had NEVER seen another woman breastfeed a baby. Well…ok I watch the Discovery channel. Seriously, it is outrageous to me that I had never seen a woman breastfeed. Bottles and cribs, bottles and cribs. So I get why I have rebelled against that system entirely. But it hasn't been a juvenile rebellion. It has been more of a " why didn't people tell me about this little gym of a secret" rebellion. That and my aversion to formula became stronger the longer I had my breastfeeding relationship with my little one.

         I'm trying to put my self in other people's shoes now that I have been nursing this kid for 21 months and see why I am in the tiniest percentile of the population doing this at his age. I know it is a conglomerate of reasons and every nursing relationship is unique. That still does not account for the kind of numbers you see with women in America nursing a toddler.
       I know the forefront of this battle is simply getting women to do it in the first place. So I understand the lack of effort in pushing for what is coined as "extended" breastfeeding. Is it really such a big deal? Why do Americans have internal battles with this concept while the rest of the world simply does it? Because I am pretty sure A LOT of women breastfeed past infancy and simply hide their little secret from most of the populace. All of this being said, I have not received one bit of flack from my family or friends for continuing to breastfeed my child. I've only had questions about common mis-conceptions from time to time.

Perhaps that is where the beast lies, in the common misconceptions:

If you don't stop breastfeeding by a year, they will nurse forever.

     - I love this one! Because we have all of these high schoolers clambering for their moms! Nursing is a developmental need. As that need goes away, so does the act. The timeline in which that need goes away is MUCH longer than most acknowledge or are willing to deal with. Thus pacifiers and lovies!

Breastfeeding will prevent you from having more children.

    - As it turns out, if you are feeding on demand and the hormonal stars align, this statement isn't far off. However, as little one gradually stops nursing as much, all of your lady parts will come back to full function and future babies will appear, whether or not you are breastfeeding. There are always exceptions so please don't' nit pic. 

They will never learn to self soothe.

   - A common and deeply ingrained American fear. Nature does not develop something so pristine only to saddle you with an offspring that won't eventually manage its self and go on to create other little offspring. Again, I think this is a timeline issue. My son will now roll over when he is done nursing, say "night night" and go to sleep all on his own.

There is no nutritive value in breastfeeding past a year.

    - This is why we feed our kids whole cows milk during their toddler years. It isn't because we are a species who developed a need for another species milk. It is because we don't feed our babies our whole milk long enough, so we need to supplement for the brain development. 

There could be psychological damage.

    - In the grand scheme of things that could cause psychological damage to our little ones….this ain't one of them! Again, nature does not develop a system that will harm the offspring in the long run. On top of that, most children, especially in America, are weaned before they ever have their first long term memory. The most I've seen psychologically from a toddler that does recall being breastfed is they mimic that behavior with stuffed animals. I think the crux of this idea lies in associating breastfeeding with some sort of sexual relationship. Trust me, there is NOTHING sexual about it.

The mother has some sick issue with not letting the kid grow up.

    - This is like men deciding if women get to have rights to abortion. Please do not speak until you have spoken to or interacted with this type of relationship one-on-one. Nature has created a healthy attachment to the breastfeeding relationship so the mother will continue to do it. However, the idea of making yourself available to another being on their whim day and night? Trust me it takes A LOT of patience and dedication. 

      I think those are the big ones. There is a lot less control with breastfeeding an older child in some ways. I think most people focus on that aspect because they have a hard time wrapping their head around how  it could provide control. For instance, when Silas gets extremely frustrated over something very minor, I simply offer to nurse him and he calms down with in 30 seconds. Instead of telling my son to breath and discuss the emotions he is feeling and why (which I can't at this age), I offer him something that is extremely comforting and soothing. As a matter of fact it physically offers pain relief. I see this as a mechanism to lower my child's stress levels and allow him more time to process events and emotions rather than be wrapped up in them. This tool is invaluable to me! It calms me down too. It gives me perspective of my son's life and allows me to empathize deeply with how he is feeling. Therefore, the way I manage him during emotional whirl winds is much more structured. It is most definitely a two way street.

    When does it end? When we both decide its ok to move on I suppose. I'm much more passive about breastfeeding at this age, but if I see he really needs more of it then I step up to the plate. Of course I sometimes wish I could just be left alone. But having a child meant I was over me and on to bigger things.

Sweet Dreams (21 months)

   Its not even that late, but it's late in my house. I just snuck away from a little boy and my husband to finally update this blog! I had to patiently lay, nursing Silas in the dark for some time and then out of the blue, right when I thought he was falling asleep, he says "potty". So I quietly pull off his diaper and cover and place him on the little potty on the floor by my side of the bed. He goes and then grabs on to me so I can put him back in bed with his now more of a back up diaper than anything. As soon as it is on, he rolls over to the middle of the bed on to his belly and says "night night" and within three minutes I hear the paced breathing of a sleeping little boy.

   When did I lose my baby and attain this child? I know the ebb and flow of need and independence is constant. But he is most definitely more a little man cub than the baby bean he used to be. In the last few months, our child has been working on speaking and imagination. He tries out words while watching our mouths and has the most adorable version of english I think we have ever heard.

  Si and Dallis will pretend they are preparing food or being parents. They will put stuffed animals to bed and Dallis will pretend she is breastfeeding. Of course Silas has very simply fantasies he creates since his vocabulary is limited to names of people he loves, animals…he loves, and food…he loves. Ok, there is a lot of love in his speak right now. Food might include "gookie". Type that into your word document and see what auto correct does with it. Yes, it is that word. Most words have g's in them. But not "eggs", they are just "ay's". This is that time frame in which only those who are around the toddler A LOT know what they are actually saying. Don't worry, the garble is becoming clearer by the week. I'm sure by 2 years old, his sentences will be much more discernible and you won't have to stare at him blankly while he has an entire conversation with you…about? Something to do with a ball and a shoe…Its like hearing someone speak through a thick pane of glass sometimes.

Anyway, I digress.

lounging

Putting puppy to bed. Can you see the little nose?

School has been very intense for both Andrew and I, especially since it is the middle of the semester. I have not been the most successful researcher thus far, but I've been told this is the norm and I am on the up hill drag of the degree. Andrew on the other hand has been creating a garden club at work that seems to be quite popular amongst the students and has to be cathartic after being in a class room all day. There is some fun research out suggesting bacteria in the soil release antidepressant type compounds. So dig in the dirt! And no I'm not implying teaching is depressing. It's an awesome job! I'm just saying gardening is good for all creatures. 

SCIENCE!

So strong!

On labor day we went up to Linville NC and stayed with our friends Brittany, Austin and Clara at their family's cabin for the weekend. It was so amazing to be back in the mountains and Brittany and Austin are so much fun to hike and hang out with! Clara, their newest addition (3.5 months at this point) is the chillest, happiest baby!! They are doing a great job with that little sweat pea =).

Brittany made this carrier!!

Two chittlens, no problem

I turned 30 years old this month (yes it is October and yes it took me since August to update…I'm sorry). I think society sees this birthday as a re-evaluation birthday. As if you are suddenly out of the club scene (and if you aren't you should be) and if you are going to have a mid-life crisis…now is the time! I'm good society! I've got my best friend as my life partner, I have this gorgeous baby boy and academia has been good to me so far. If I were to croak today, I did some good things. So turning thirty  was fine. Andrew took Si and I camping and it gave me a warm fuzzy feeling inside. I love my boys.

One of my favorite girls from grad school married her sweetheart this month. That was a blast! We got to stay at a large, beautiful hunting cabin in Limestone Tennessee with all of my girls from ETSU for two nights. It was gorgeous, fun and I am beyond happy for her.

DNA base pair necklaces!!

Congrats Brittany!!

I promise Si isn't angry

Anyway, that about wraps it up for now.  I hope all is well in the land of Oz. Until next time…

19 months and imagination is in full swing

         This last month has brought on a huge leap in cognitive development for Silas. So much so, that I feel Andrew and I are still catching up. We can and need to explain more as situations arise. His vocabulary has greatly expanded as well as his comprehension. He is definitely still hard to understand, but he is working on delineating between words that sound similar or that he used to call something different based on his experience as a younger baby.

  He has learned how to swim with a life jacket on!! He is leaping into the water and holding his breath while kicking up to the surface, as well, and LOVES it. He is definitely a water baby. Andrew took him to a lake about 45 minutes from our house often during the middle of the day while I was in the lab and they would hike and swim around.

We went to the pool just about every day, either to the YMCA or to our friend's pool at the apartment complex right up the road. If we went to the one next door, we threw Si into the little bike "rickshaw" and rode up there. 

Sometimes I was able to go hiking and swimming!

Is this strange?

Soooo freeeeeee

Using diapers has also becoming a thing of the past. Diapers are only used at night at this point and we are working on that one. It took a few weeks for the transition, but Si has become extraordinarily consistent in letting us know when he needs to go potty. He also was able to hold a little longer than previously, by the end of 18 months, which made a world of difference for car rides. This version of potty trained definitely relies heavily on us since he can't effectively manipulate his clothing yet and really can only use the baby potties by himself. But it has been totally worth it not to have to make him lie still for diaper changes and I can't even tell you how nice it is to not clean poopy diapers anymore! There are misses here and there when he is tired, playing hard or clearly working on some new mental thing. But 90% of the time it is in the potty ( or on the grass, or a rock, or …well anywhere outside).

I know this is old news, but we have to mention that Silas participated in his first official race in June. We ran a 6K with Rob and Jane in Raleigh-Durham. It was a well paced race considering we had to let Si take breaks from the stroller every ten minutes after the first mile and a half ;). There is no tolerance in that kid to sit still and just observe.

Yes, that is an Uncle Bob foot.

We had multiple visitors during July, including Victoria and her sweetheart Michael!! We had a blast hanging out, eating and sitting around the fire pit =)

My best friend from middle school, Kelly, came to hang out for a day or so since she was in for a Phish concert. It was her first time hitting up our house too! Silas thought she was a trip.

This is how ties are supposed to worn…right?

How to properly hydrate a toddler

It has been an awesome summer and I can't believe it is almost over!! Andrew has had so much time with Si, which was well deserved and needed. Those two are peas in a pod. Kelly and I went to see Soundgarden and Nine Inch Nails as a sort of end-of-summer extravaganza. It was AWESOME!!!!!!!! Andrew and Si had no problem crashing with out me. A pretty big marker as to how grown up this little man has already become in such a short time.